Down Time

I am sitting here in the recliner with my feet up, thinking that this is the first guilt-free (partial) day off that I remember taking in a long time. Is it more guilt-free than usual because it comes after a few hard-earned high points in the last week? I often feel that I am stealing time when I take a break or do something fun for a change; but today I feel like a flower unfolding its petals at a natural pace. Today I feel that whatever I choose to do will have value, and that there are very few "must-do's". It's not to say that I haven't done anything - I made stew in the slow cooker this morning to take for dinner with my stepdaughter and grandsons this evening; I made a big batch of cookies to sustain a friend who is working hard on some awesome renovations for us, and to share with my stepson (and my other stepdaughter when she dropped by briefly.) I also responded to some emails, sent some invoices, held someone in prayer for a recent loss...and I'm even writing a blog post for the first time in months! But I am doing it all without that sense of pressure that seems to accompany most of my waking moments, that sense of constant list-making and checking in to see "Am I doing what I am supposed to be doing right now? What have I forgotten? What deadline or important moment will come crashing down upon me if I am not prepared?" 

A friend said to me a few weeks ago that she was really looking forward to a couple of hours of enforced inactivity when her eyes were dilated for tests; it struck me that we are all working too hard if that's the only time we feel able to sit quietly (please note that I intentionally implemented her idea and made the most of a similar situation for a day or two when I had cataract surgery a few weeks ago!)

Our bodies and minds need down time; we were designed to sleep at least 1/3 of our daily lives away. There's only so long we can churn at full speed until we burn out the engines. I am also (slowly) coming to realize that down time is not really down time unless I am wholehearted in letting it all go for a designated period of time, knowing that I can go back and pick it all up again when I need to. In fact, it's only by setting it all down once in a while that I will be able to carry it for the long haul. In future, I think I will try to let wisdom rather than exhaustion be my guide, because I would much rather sit down by choice than fall down by necessity. Up with down time!