Wanting What We Have

Our human nature insists that we could be happy if we just had a little bit more... a little more money, a little more love, a little more fabric, a little more time. We don't need a LOT more; we are sure that just a bit more would do the trick, and then we would finally be happy, and feel satisfied.

Not true.

There's a fantastic book by Timothy Miller called "How to Want What You Have: Discovering the Magic and Grandeur of Ordinary Existence"; I re-read it again every few years because I need to be reminded of the difference between having what we want and wanting what we have. It seems that our desire for more is insatiable. As soon as we finally achieve what we thought we wanted, it goes a little flat; we lose some of our excitement for it and we start looking around for that one more thing that will finally fill us up. And in our haste to obtain that next thing, we often dismiss and even trample over what we actually have.

It's probably time for me to read the book again, but to the best of my recollection, Miller advocates training ourselves against this basic instinct by the practice of Attention, Gratitude and Compassion: noticing what we do have, finding reasons to be thankful—no matter how small—and exercising kindness towards ourselves and others.

Let's be clear about this: I don't advocate giving up ambition or abandoning the idea of working hard to achieve something important with our lives; I don't suggest that we should continue to be victims or to limit our dreams. I do think that we need to be aware of the blessings that already surround us, to accord them their full value, to perform the random acts of kindness that spring from recognition of the abundance we already possess... and to learn not to be blinded by our intrinsic need for MORE.